


Kitten!

by DifferenceEngineGirl



Series: Lucifer and his Back of Holding [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Kitten, Pocket Dimensions - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 05:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DifferenceEngineGirl/pseuds/DifferenceEngineGirl
Summary: Lucifer is continually finding new uses for his pocket dimensions, but the creature he decided to help this time is a little less than grateful.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Ella Lopez, Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Ella Lopez & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Lucifer and his Back of Holding [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1447993
Comments: 16
Kudos: 119





	Kitten!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arlome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlome/gifts).

> Thanks to TheYahwehDance for the prompt that led to this installment!

Lucifer was late to the crime scene. That wasn’t unusual, but when Chloe had called him he sounded enthusiastic and said he was leaving immediately, and he never lied, so she was a little worried that something had happened. She was about to call him when he ducked under the tape, muttering under his breath until he saw her, and his entire face lit up.

"Sorry for the delay, Detective, I was interrupted as I was leaving. What have we got?" he asked, as Chloe steadfastly ignored Ella's grin from across the crime scene at the soft way he looked at her.

She was about halfway through explaining what they knew when she stopped, and started to look around the scene.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hmm?"

"I swear I heard a cat meow."

"I detest cats. Horrible, contempt-filled creatures," he sniffed, with a strange aborted half-shudder before Ella chose that moment to wander over to them.

"You know, cats are more loving than people think. You've just got to remember that their body language isn't the same as a dog's," she explained, crime scene update momentarily forgotten. "Why're you talking about cats anyway?"

"I thought I heard a meow, but I can't see a cat."

"We have to find it!" Ella said excitedly, before putting on a serious face. "So it doesn't contaminate the crime scene, obviously. I'll keep an eye out."

It was a few more minutes before Chloe heard another meow, and this time Ella heard it too. The two of them started searching almost immediately, both convinced the sound came from opposite sides, while Lucifer continued to complain about how messy and irritating they were.

Ella searched for ten minutes before stopping, and Chloe searched for five before giving up, both confused at hearing a cat but finding no sign of one anywhere.

Chloe had resolved to ignore the meowing until they'd finished with the crime scene when Lucifer yelped and jerked forwards.

"Bloody Hell!"

"Are you okay, Lucifer?" Chloe asked as he twisted and started to reach for something between his back and his jacket.

"The bloody creature clawed me!" He scowled as he pulled out a tiny black and white kitten, holding it by the scruff of its neck and dangling it in front of his face. "I told you, if you want to stay in there until I can get you somewhere safe, you must keep your claws away."

Chloe couldn't stop her smile at his incredibly serious expression as he lectured the kitten, and that he seemed to genuinely think that asking it not to claw him would work. The kitten quickly became fed up with Lucifer's glare and lecture, and swiped at his nose with a hiss. She couldn't help the laugh that escaped at his suddenly affronted expression at the two thin red lines on the tip of his nose.

"Ow! Oh, you little–"

"You found him!" Ella exclaimed, as she rushed over and took the kitten from him. "Aren't you a cute little thing?"

"He scratched me!" he spluttered indignantly. "Aww, you didn't mean it, did you, cutie?" she cooed before turning to Lucifer. "He's just a kitten, Lucifer. You're acting like he's some sort of vicious hell beast."

"That creature is worse than a hell beast, Miss Lopez. Hell beasts have a small amount of intelligence, and can follow simple instructions like not digging your claws into the person trying to help you," he complained, glaring at the kitten as it rubbed against Ella’s hand and began to purr.

"Aww, Lucifer's just being mean. You’re a very clever kitty, aren’t you? I’m gonna see if I can find your owner, but if I can’t you’re coming home with me."

"I doubt the creature has owners. It was doing its best to get run over by hiding under the Corvette."

"Poor thing! I'm still gonna see if you're microchipped, but if Lucifer's right, you're gonna be mine, cutie." 

As Ella carried the kitten away from the scene, Chloe couldn't help but wonder how exactly her life got so far from normal that her partner fishing a live kitten out of his back barely registered on her scale of weirdness.

* * *

Three weeks later, Lucifer came in to find Ella showing Chloe something on her phone.

"Good morning, Detective, Miss Lopez. What are you smiling over?"

"I was showing Chloe how well Jean-Luc was settling in! He didn't have a microchip, so I persuaded my landlord to let me keep him!"

"Jean-Luc?" 

"The kitten! I named him Jean-Luc Purr-cat."

"You named the creature after a Star Trek character?"

"Yep! He's adorable; want to see?"

"No thank you, Miss Lopez. I still can't understand why you'd want one in your home."

Before Ella had a chance to explain, the Lieutenant dropped a case on Chloe's desk.

"Sorry, Miss Lopez, an explanation will have to wait. Shall we, Detective?"

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback always welcome!
> 
> (Please note, any comments arguing the canon status of pocket dimensions vs fleshy wing pockets will be deleted. This fic series is purely for exploring the crack potential of pocket dimensions, and is not meant to be a comment on canon.)


End file.
